“There's your junkie pal again,” my supervisor, Mr. Leigh, whispers to me while I lean against the counter, about to finish drawing on my notepad.
I want to kick Mr. Leigh right in his pointy enough to poke an eye out nose because one, I'm really into my work and you never interrupt an intimate moment between an artist and their art. And two, I already know who he's talking about before I look up, since there's only one person we both know he consistently calls my 'junkie pal,' and the way the words always crawl under my skin Mr. Leigh might as well be calling me that, as if the words developed a taste for my flesh instead of my friend's.
I raise my head and see Eli, the center of Mr. Leigh's contempt and the root of all evil in this world according to him, walking down the library's lobby, and Mr. Leigh can't help but to pin his stink eye on the kid like a tracking device. Mr. Leigh thinks Eli's on drugs, which, I'm ashamed to say, I can kind of see why. Eli has a little bit of that withdrawal look I see some of the drug addicts wear who wander around my neighborhood every once in a while, searching for their next fix like it's a child that's gone missing. His eyes are too wide for his gaunt face, they dart around the library, always sizing it up and measuring it for reasons I don't know. He's sweating even though it has to be about twenty or so degrees outside, and the way his mouth opens and closes it's like Eli's sipping the air because he's too nervous to breathe it all in. Honestly, Eli was on something, but he's trying everyday to get better, and I wish Mr. Leigh would open his eyes and see that already.
“You know how much stress you'd be saving yourself if you'd stop worrying about him? He's not bothering you.” Something I've said to him a million times already, but the words never reach him, he just keeps looking at Eli like it's hate at first sight. I can feel the stink eye on him get even stinkier, and I bet Eli can feel it, too.
The longer Mr. Leigh looks at Eli, the deeper his frown is. I don't think it's possible to kill someone with just a look, but I swear Mr. Leigh is trying his hardest right now to do exactly that.
“I'm gonna' have to ask her to stop bringing that kid here,” Mr. Leigh whispers, more so to himself than to me. “This needs to stop.”
I roll my eyes so hard I nearly lose them somewhere in the back of my head.
“And Bianca's gonna' ask you, 'why? What did he do?' Then what are you gonna' tell her?”
“I shouldn't have to give someone an explanation for kicking them out of my library. She'll just have to accept my request, or she can leave my library for good, too.”
“Yeah, go ahead and do that and see how she reacts. She won't flip out at all.”
A part of me legitimately wants Mr. Leigh to go through with this, so that Bianca can curse him out in front of the whole world and say all the things that I've ever wanted to say to him. Then, as if Bianca senses we're talking about her, she looks over at Mr. Leigh and gives us a smile so warm that I wonder if she might be a little too nice to verbally assault Mr. Leigh the way I'd want her to.
Bianca's the only reason why Mr. Leigh hasn't banished Eli from the library yet like I'm sure he's dying to do, although now I'm not sure how long her protection over him is gonna' last. She's one of those customers who used to frequent the library long enough that she became sort of friends with the staff here, including Mr. Leigh. Everyone knows who she is and she knows who we are and she drops in every once in a while not even to check out a book, but just to chat with us. But the more she brings Eli around, the further she falls out of Mr. Leigh's favor, and I wonder if today's gonna' be the day Mr. Leigh finally reaches his breaking point and shows them both his true colors.
I smile and wave back at Bianca, who always walks real close to Eli as if to make sure he doesn't stray too far away from her. Mr. Leigh gives an academy award winning performance when he smiles and waves at them too, I have no idea where he puts all that built up contempt he has for Eli because there's no traces of it on his face when he does this. Until Bianca and Eli look away, then the smile makes way for his frown to come back, which honestly fits his face better. Mr. Leigh's one of those people who looks more like himself when he's upset.
Even after the two of them disappear behind the bookshelves, Mr. Leigh keeps looking in their direction, as if he can still see them with super vision. He shakes his head, and when he narrows his eyes back down to me I already know what he's gonna' ask me before he probably even does.
“Can you just leave them alone for once?” I ask him, wishing I could swat the inevitable question down in midair like a gnat before it has a chance to slip into his head. “It's a waste of time spying on them. It always is.”
“It helps keep the library safe.”
His answer is so ridiculous I laugh at it by reflex, my body can't help but to register it as a joke.
“Safe from what? What, exactly, are they doing that's so dangerous?”
“I'm not thinking about what they're doing, I'm thinking about what they're going to do. And you should, too. Prevention here is key.”
I suck my teeth and poke the inside of my cheek with my tongue, which is something I do when I'm annoyed. They're going to do the same thing they always do, read a couple of books, maybe check out some, make conversation with staff and leave. I really don't see anything worth 'preventing' here.
“You know what I need you to do, right?” he asks me. I let out a loud sigh.
“I guess you really can't give them a pass just once, huh?”
“Can you blame me? C'mon, Tara, I know you like the kid, but look at the way he acts and tell me that's normal behavior. As a reminder, if you don't want to do it, I don't mind doing it myself.”
Which is even worse. At least when I spy on people I try to be subtle about it, Mr. Leigh will stand behind you and watch you the whole time until you're so uncomfortable that you leave the library without him having to kick you out. It wouldn't surprise me if that was the method behind his madness all along.
Whatever. I enjoy being around Eli and Bianca, anyway. I just wish hanging out with them didn't always come with Mr. Leigh's ulterior motives as company.
Without saying anything, I snatch my notepad, turn around and leave the counter, knowing full well it's pointless arguing with Mr. Leigh about this.
“I owe you one,” is what Mr. Leigh always tells me, but there's nothing he can offer that'll make up for being his little spy, not unless his next paycheck comes with a fresher, cleaner conscience as a bonus.
I swear working at this library is such a catch 22, and every once in a while I have to remind myself that there are more pros than cons being here to stop myself from doing something stupid. Like quitting. Right now I go down the same checklist of reasons that I usually do; the pay is good, since there's a lot of down time I can pretty much draw to my heart's content and keep stretching out my creative muscles, and the most important reason of all; it's pretty much the only place I can work in this God forsaken neighborhood I don't have to worry about getting robbed or shot up. The police station is a block away from here, and with it watching over the library like a protective older brother, a lot of the crime that infests my neighborhood never really spills into Mr. Leigh's library, something I should be grateful everyday for.
The only real con about working here is that Mr. Leigh tends to put his stink eye on people he thinks might cause trouble in the library, and even that would be okay if it wasn't for the coincidence that most of the people he has followed are guys that look younger than thirty and dress a certain way. So if you come in here with a hoodie or a large t-shirt, then you might as well be wearing an orange jumpsuit because Mr. Leigh's already labeled you a criminal in his eyes. His profiling is a waste of time and energy to me since I seriously doubt anyone who would cause trouble would do so in a library of all places, especially with the police station right around the corner, but if there's one thing I've learned the hard way about living here it's to never underestimate this neighborhood.
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